This parody song is a transformative, non-commercial work created strictly for humorous and expressive purposes. It is a clear parody of Lady Gaga’s song “Poker Face,” reimagined to support and expand the adventures of Gunther the Smallest Rottweiler, a character from the novel The Smallest Rottweiler.
No original tracks, recordings, or direct musical elements from the original song or artist are used. This is an entirely new vocal performance with new lyrics and arrangement that comments on and humorously transforms the original work.
The song is not monetized in any way, generates no revenue, and is hosted exclusively on my personal, non-commercial website. It is offered solely for the free amusement of readers and fans who wish to further explore the novel’s characters and world. The use of the original song’s themes is limited and transformative, advancing a new creative expression tied to the story rather than serving as a substitute for the original.
I am a huge admirer of the original artist and their work. This parody was created out of deep respect and affection, with full credit given to Lady Gaga (Stefani Germanotta) for their original composition. Far from intending any harm or embarrassment to the artist or their music, this parody is meant to celebrate their creativity. As the saying goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I hope listeners enjoy both the original song and this lighthearted parody version.
[Lyrics]
[Verse]
I wanna hold ‘em like they do in Texas, please
Fold ‘em, let ‘em hit me, raise it, baby, stay with me (I love it)
Gunther’s intuition play the cards with spades to start
And after they’ve been hooked he’ll play the one that’s on their heart
Oh, woah-oh-oh-oh
Gunther gets ’em hot, shows ‘em what he’s got
Oh, woah-oh-oh-oh
Gunther gets ’em hot, shows ‘em what he’s got
[Chorus]
Can’t read Gunther
Can’t read Gunther
No they can’t read Gunther’s poker face
(He’s got that fire nobody sees)
Can’t read Gunther
Can’t read Gunther
No they can’t read Gunther’s poker face
(He’s got that fight nobody sees)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Gunther’s legacy, mu-mu-mu-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Gunther’s legacy, mu-mu-mu-mah)
[Verse]
Gunther was the runt, yeah, they thought Gunther’d fold so fast
Litter laughed and pushed, said Gunther’s dream wouldn’t last
But Gunther hid the fire, kept that stone-cold stare
Built his bluff from scars, showed ‘em Gunther don’t scare
Raised the stakes in storms, rescues through the night
Gunther’s pursuits in dark alleys, never lost the fight
Laine his partner, trust was all they played
Bonded in the danger, never got betrayed
[Chorus]
Can’t read Gunther
Can’t read Gunther
No they can’t read Gunther’s poker face
Can’t read Gunther
Can’t read Gunther
No they can’t read Gunther’s poker face
(Faith his anchor, never shakes)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Persevere, pups, mu-mu-mu-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Size of fight in the dog, mu-mu-mu-mah)
[Verse]
Old dog Gunther now, medals glint under sun
Blue eyes sharp, tellin’ pups where Gunther come from
Max and Smalls got grace, Mama’s love won out
Lynda took ’em home, no more doubt
Magnus wild guided Gunther when shadows fell deep
Gunther repaid the favor, secrets Gunther keep
Ty Clan alpha named Gunther, pride roars loud
From runt in the shadows to standin’ proud
[Chorus]
Can’t read Gunther
Can’t read Gunther
No they can’t read Gunther’s poker face
(He’s the legend, can’t be tamed)
Can’t read Gunther
Can’t read Gunther
No they can’t read Gunther’s poker face
(Gunther’s fire, forever flamed)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mu-mu-mu-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Gunther’s poker face)
I won’t tell you that Gunther loves you
Kiss or hug you
[Bridge]
‘Cause Gunther’s bluffin’ with his muffin
Gunther’s not lyin’, just hidin’
Gunther’s story, no denyin’